There are times when I feel very anxious about Alban.  I think about our relationship and I wonder if I haven’t held him back developmentally by ‘babying’ him.  He still wants me ’snuggle’ with him at night until he falls asleep, he wakes (sometimes) in the middle of the night or early morning and comes into our bed, he is constantly wanting me to ‘uppy’ him and I do because he is still so small (only 26 pounds).  All of this combined with a resistance to school, which is manufactured, and I start to wonder.  He is my baby, he is my last, he is terribly cute and small … am I holding him back?

Alban is also very sensitive, worried that I am mad at him or that I am happy when he does something naughty.  He will frequently ask me if I am happy or if I am ‘mad to him’.  He does not like to disappoint me, or anyone really.  But he is three so there are times when he also does not care one bit if his behavior causes discord.  He digs in his heals defying logic and throws amazingly long fits or continues the aberrant behavior.

But here is the deal, however attached to me he has become he is still independent.  Very independent.  He stayed with my sister Shari for almost 4 days on his own and didn’t think twice about it.  He runs off and plays with new children, he embraces new experiences and he fits in with his brother’s older crowd.  He is shy with new adults but shares his love of language with those with which he is comfortable.

AND … the best part about him lately is that at night when we are snuggling in bed he will hold my face with both hands and say “Mom, I love you.”  He has started to tell me several times a day that he loves me and he throws his arms around my neck and warms my heart with the best tight little hug I have ever received.  He loves me fiercely and I him. 

Too attached?  At this point I don’t really care.  He tells me he loves me often with hugs and sometimes a kiss.  Parenting doesn’t get much better than that.  Now we just need to work on those fits.